gts005 “leftshwept”
[originally aired March 2022, but with the last 1/4 of the show redone]
You know how those dating apps work, swipe right for yum and sweep left for ugh. But what happens to the left-swept? Who are they, why are they perennially swiped sinisterially, and where do they go after they drop off the left side of your phone? Don’t claim to have any of the answers here, this is just a clinical survey of swipers and swipees. Preliminary conclusion: your gut instinct is often right.
01-01 Andrews Sisters – Decca 24705 – I Can Dream Can’t I (1949)
— only had to bleep 3 words in this entire 2-hour episode, surprising enough on its own, but the shocker is that one of them was uttered by Patti Andrews!
01-02 April Smith & The Great Picture Show – SFASS 11 – Stop Wondering (2010)
— a truly great album, eventually will get all of them out on this show. The backward thing is that the vinyl version has the bonus tracks, not the CD. This tune has gotten stuck in my head more times than I can count.
01-03 Selena Gomez & The Scene – Kiss And Tell 10 – I Don’t Miss You At All (2009)
— not just a (stunningly) pretty face, she can toss out a pop rumbler with the best ‘o them. I like the reference to Chuck Berry, talking about writing a number on the wall.
01-04 The Whereabouts – Pop Filter 01 – Afterthought (2001)
— the life of a left-swept is not easy. This was picked up for the movie “Radio Rebel” (not Rebel Radio, that’s a different flick!), where the film was decent but the soundtrack was outstanding.
02-01 Dujour – Josie And The Pussycats OST 12 – Backdoor Lover (2001)
— not a real band. From the film Josie And The Pussycats, by the film’s foppy boy-band who survive a suspicious fall from “slipping” out of an airplane at 30,000 feet. The gag was good enough to have 2 Dujour tunes included on the soundtrack album.
02-02 Paris Hilton – Paris 08 – Screwed (2006)
— Paris responds to an infamously leaked tape with surprising tact and class. And the song is shockingly catchy.
02-03 Towers Of London – Blood Sweat And Towers 04 – Beaujolais (2006)
— pretty obvious, that TOL is singing about our previous guest.
02-04 Amazing Rhythm Aces – Stacked Deck 01 – Third Rate Romance (1975)
— the pitiful result of a right-swipe that would have been swept left in a world without desperation. Classic 1-hit wonder.
03-01 King Missile (Dog Fly Religion) – Fluting On The Hump 105 – Sensitive Artist (1987)
— a staple of nuttiness from 80’s college radio, the album also features Take Stuff From Work. Note the intentional fade-out here, absurdly long, because he’s so sensitive.
03-02 Christine Lavin – Attainable Love 04 – Sensitive New Age Guys (1990)
— biting commentary on the battle of the sexes when one side surrenders without a shot. Worth turning up the volume, for the hilarious background comments.
03-02a Christine Lavin – Live At The Cactus Cafe 08 – Alternate Endings To The Above Song, If The One Here Is Too Scary For Sensitive You (1993)
— not the followup to the above song, but fits pretty well!
03-03 Joanie Sommers – Johnny Get Angry 101 – Johnny Get Angry (1962)
— doesn’t get much airplay these days, wonder why? Heh, anyway a useful lesson why “nice guys finish last”. Notable for being one of the few hit songs to ever feature a kazoo solo.
03-05 Voice Of The Beehive – Let It Bee 204 – There’s A Barbarian In The Back Of My Car (1988)
— not the top single from a great debut album, but always one of my favorites. A good answer to Joanie Sommers, to be careful what she was wishing for.
03-06 Spinal Tap – MCA 1624 – Bitch School (1992)
— and a britch too far, the stars of the great mock-rock-umentary here in the video version of their single release, obviously just a song about training a pooch.
04-01 The Monks – Bad Habits 201 – Nice Legs, Shame About Her Face (1980)
— turnabout is fair play, and makes you wonder if blind dates would be more successful if the blind part were enforced.
04-02 Good Rats – From Rats To Riches 202 – Coo Coo Coo Blues (1978)
— lose the girl, gain 4 new friends. The greatest 70’s band to not “make it big” featured Peppi Marchello telling this story, who was just as described, in real life. I talked with him once, ordering drinks at a bar between sets. Great guy and with a mug like that, the classy thing is to own it!
04-03 Johnny Meeskite – Ugly (circa 1978)
— talk about owning it! Recording date is fuzzy, this is track 12 on the Dr. Demento compilation of “Rhino’s World’s Worst Records” from 1983. But listen to that guitar solo, this is not a “worst record,” in fact it sounds to my ears like Frank Zappa on guitar.
04-04 David Olney – Deeper Well 103 – Brand New Skin (1988)
— a warning about subterfuge on those dating apps, the worst critters are the most likely to pop back up with a new and sparkly profile.
05-01 Mighty Mighty Bosstones – Devil’s Night Out 10 – A Little Bit Ugly (1993)
— great ska band in one of their least ska tunes, several musical homages to rock’s golden era.
05-02 Wylie & The Wild West – Rocketbuster 09 – Ugly Girl Blues (2012)
— starts calling out Bob Wills, ends with a refusal which could be a whole Dr. Seuss book.
05-03 The Blues Brothers – The Blues Brothers OST 101 – She Caught The Katy (1980)
— the Third Age Of Blues started with this movie soundtrack. My understanding is she split and took his Cadillac, “the Katy”.
05-04 Kate Nash – Made Of Bricks 02 – Foundations (2007)
— following The Katy with a Kate, a thoroughly bitter one. This episode’s second bleep, and she draws it out long enough to hear the sine wave’s, uhh, siney-ness. Both her and the guy are probably using Tindr behind each other’s backs.
05-05 Loudon Wainwright III – Unrequited 205 – Unrequited To The Nth Degree (1975)
— a bit more grim than just the casual rejection of swiping on an app, please don’t try this at home, Loudon is a trained professional.
05-06 Whispering Jack Smith – Victor 20626 – Me And My Shadow (1927)
— what’s a left-swept fellow left to do? Been around a long time, Al Jolson gets the credit though he likely didn’t write it. Covered by everyone from John Travolta to Liberace, recently as a duet by Jeff Goldblum and Sarah Silverman.
05-07 Ren & Stimpy – You Eediot 08 – Smokin’ (1993)
— the ‘toon video with this is Ren displaying the bad effects of smoking, but taken out of that context, it’s a great jazz tune.
06-01 Kingston Wall – Kingston Wall 03 – I’m Not The One (1992)
— when someone writes a whole punk song about it, best believe it’s true. From Finland, they disbanded in 1994 and 6 months later the frontman/guitarist Petri Walli was dead by his own hand.
06-02 Onion Flavored Rings – Funny 01 – Never Be The One (2009)
— guitar and vocals by Steve Funyons, who spent the next decade busking as a one-man-band in Portland, Oregon, with a drum kit on his back, not sure how he played that. According to their website, the Onion Flavored Report, the band played a final farewell show in October 2025.
06-03 ABBA – Arrival 203 – Why Did It Have To Be Me (1976)
— the 4some at the top of their game, singing about a central pitfall of dating apps, forty years ahead of their time.
06-04 Marion Harris & Carl Fenton Orchestra – Brunswick 2610 – It Had To Be You (1924)
— it’s only natural this song follows the ABBA. Marion’s version, in particular, has an element of tragedy missing in most covers which get sugared over. Paired with the previous ABBA song, it’s clear that Björn used chord progressions written 50 years earlier.
06-05 Clyde McPhatter – Mercury 71868 – Your Second Choice (1961)
— after The Drifters, Clyde hit the bottle and died before 40. Not a hit, but this one flows right between the above and below.
06-06 Warren Zevon – The Envoy 203 – Looking For The Next Best Thing (1982)
— not about dating tragedies, but the title is sooo right if you read this set’s song titles in a row.
06-07 Barbara George – A.F.O. 302 – I Know (You Don’t Love Me No More) (1961)
— a New Orleans native, she wrote the words and music here, as well on 11 of the twelve tunes on her subsequent 1961 LP, with this as the title track, also on All For One Records.
06-08 Olivia Rodrigo – Sour 06 – Good 4 U (2021)
— a Disney Channel ‘princess’ on Bizaardvark then seeing fame on High School Musical. She follwed standard practice by lacing her post-Mouse songs with dirty words. This hit #1 off her debut disc, both her albums climbed to #1 on Billboard, her 3rd drops in June 2026. As mentioned in her songs, she was home-schooled, and Olivia is “half-deaf” in her left ear.
06-09 Robert Nighthawk And His Nighthawks Band – You Missed A Good Man (1952)
— a rework of a Tampa Red tune from 1935, who lifted it from a Clarence Williams tune of 1915. From Nighthawk’s 2nd session for United Records, October 25th 1952, but not released until 1978.